


Rainy Days Equal Headaches and Mental Crises

by sjhanny



Series: The Uchiha-Senju Boys [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, F/M, First Shinobi War, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied Mpreg, Intersex, Konohagakure | Hidden Leaf Village, M/M, Mpreg, Protective Uchiha Madara, Same-Sex Marriage, Uchiha Madara-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:02:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29753781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sjhanny/pseuds/sjhanny
Summary: All Madara wanted to do was finish his stupid paperwork and maybe take a nap before his husband got home from work. Much to his disappointment, his and Tobirama's sons have other plans that quickly derail his own.
Relationships: Senju Hashirama/Uzumaki Mito, Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Madara
Series: The Uchiha-Senju Boys [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2173206
Comments: 6
Kudos: 100





	Rainy Days Equal Headaches and Mental Crises

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the second installment y'all! This time we're looking from Madara's point of view and boy, the messes he has to deal with. Anyway, this fic is way less angsty and more fluff than anything. Remember this is an alternate universe and is being posted out of order so chaos! Yay! 
> 
> Just FYI: 
> 
> Madara/Hashirama- 37  
> Touka/Izuna/Mito/Hikaku- 36  
> Tobirama- 35  
> Kagami- 14  
> Tsunade- 1  
> Obito- 8  
> Shisui- 6  
> Itachi- 4  
> Nawaki- 3

_~~~~~_

_“Give me back my goggles Aniki!”_

If he had known exactly how messy and chaotic children were, Madara would have been more adamant on using every method of contraception possible to mankind. Choosing to maintain his focus on the paperwork stacked before him, a task that had once been that tree lover’s duty but in the end came to rest upon his shoulders due to Tobirama already being swamped with work of his own, Madara calmly crossed out misspellings and offered alternatives that would better suit the village as a whole. Just as he moved to write his signature, a loud crash echoed from somewhere further in the house and bickering soon followed and kami he was going to lose his mind! With an aggravated sigh, Madara set his brush back within the inkwell and stood to his feet, sliding his office door open with a dull thud as he slipped into the empty hallway. The bickering grew louder with every step he took, the cacophony of distressed and irritated young voices painting the once peaceful afternoon air that Madara treasured with all his heart nowadays, enough he was willing to rouse earlier than usual to have some semblance of serenity in the house.

_“Guys be quiet, you’re going to get us all into trouble!”_

_“We’re already going to be in trouble for sure you blockhead! Look at the mess Obito made-!”_

_“Hey, you’re the one that started all of this Aniki, not me!”_

What he would do to just have one day without having to hear an argument. The Uchiha clan head found himself standing on the entryway of the kitchen, taking in the sight before him with calculating pools of ink black. In the center of the room stood the two eldest of his children, Kagami and Obito glaring at one another with murderous intent as the pair of them incessantly bickered over exactly whose fault it was. Only a mere few feet away were Shisui and Itachi, the two younger boys watching the scene with uncertainty and discomfort, circling around what Madara determined to be the origin of contention between the four of them. Decorating his once pristine kitchen and four sons was a thin layer of flour, various dirty bowls and spoons scattered about the counter as objects such as egg shells and bags of sugar littered the kitchen table that had been cleared only a few hours before. Obito seemed to be bearing the brunt of the spray of flour, his typically ink black hair now a darkened grey as the white substance colored his skin and colors in a sheet of alabaster, though his brothers did not fare any better. Shisui, the ever doting older brother, was working on wiping the flour away from Itachi’s eyes, the youngest of the children whining pitifully as he did so.

**_Kami, Tobirama was going to kill him for this._ **

A growl of frustration escaped the man before he could suppress, his arms coming to cross over his chest, “What in the gods’ green earth is going on here?”

If Madara wasn’t so upset over not only being interrupted from his work but also coming to see the ruined state of the kitchen he had cleaned only three hours ago at max, he would have laughed at the terrified expressions adorning the four boys faces.

Quick to shift the blame from their own persons, Obito and Kagami pointed opposite of each other with a unanimous shout, “He did it!”

_Why had he not taken up his brother’s offer to watch the boys while he worked? Or let Tobirama take one of these perilous troublemakers with him to the hokage’s residence so Madara would have at least just a speck of chance of being able to focus?_

Madara forced himself to stay calm (exploding will help no one in this situation), taking a deep, rugged breath as he came to inch the bridge of his nose, “I did not ask who made this mess. Now tell me, how did my once pristine kitchen come to be in the state of chaos and disarray that it currently sits in?”

Neither he or Tobirama could have envisioned having such a large family down the road as they learned of Tobirama’s expectancy that chilly February afternoon. Tobirama’s arduous labor with their firstborn, Kagami, and the impending First World Shinobi War looming overhead nearly prevented them from having a second child, choosing to focus on raising their lone son amidst the surrounding turmoil. His husband had nearly been killed during the bloody war, the Gold and Silver Brothers having been able to corner the albino with deadly intent after Tobirama and his team had been faced with a near impossible decision in Madara’s honest opinion. To ensure the survival of the group majority, one of them had to act as a decoy and his foolish husband had inevitably decided that it was to be his burden to bear alone, choosing to die himself rather than to send one of his beloved students to their demise.

It had been Madara, with the assistance of Hiruzen, that retrieved the broken and bloody sensor from the battlefield and it was in that moment, as a dying Tobirama laid limp in his arms with his final requests on the tip of his tongue, that the Uchiha swore that Kagami would not be subjected to the devastating loss of his mama, in matter the cost. The war eventually came to an end only a few months later, a week before Kagami’s third birthday to be precise, and with Mito announcing her long awaited pregnancy, the Uchiha-Senju couple unconsciously began to yearn for another child of their own. Tobirama’s battered condition impeded their desires of adding another member to their small family, and Kagami was a ball of pure energy who seemed to strive to keep them on their toes at all times, and those wants were subsequently placed on the back burner until the time was right.

When Tobirama came into his office the following spring, hands lightly shaking and sweat beading on his brow, Madara feared the worst to come as he always did, pardon him for being a pessimist. The fear evaporated the moment Tobirama placed a positive, kami the test was positive, pregnancy test in front of Madara, a soft grin coloring the sensor’s handsome visage as he anxiously informed him that Kagami would be receiving a new otouto or imouto within the upcoming year. Madara had showered his husband in fervent kisses at hearing the news, revelling in the fact that Tobirama was pregnant, that they were finally having the second child they had been dreaming of having for nearly two years at that point.

Itachi whimpered beside his elder brother, Shisui answering with a sheepish grin, “We just wanted to make some dango and while nii-san was pouring the floor, otouto-san accidentally scared him.”

Tears brimmed in pools of ink black that Itachi possessed, the four year old clutching onto Shisui as if he was his lifeline to this plane of existence, and Madara sighed, removing his fingers from his nose, “The stress the four of you put me through, I swear on Amaterasu that I will be gray before I become forty years old.”

Obito scoffed, arms coming to cross over his chest, showing that he was most definitely their child, “I’m surprised you’re not gray already, old man. You already have the wrinkles of a village elder.”

Much to his utter dismay, Kagami nodded in agreement, a thoughtful look blooming on his eldest son's face, “He’s right, both you and mama look and act like the grumpy village elders. Especially with your wrinkles and mama’s silver hair.”

Both of the younger boys giggled and the Uchiha clan head was swift in glaring at the two boys, growling dangerously, “I will not tolerate this utter and blatant disrespect! I am your father and one of the founding members of this village! I am not grumpy, nor do I have wrinkles!”

A soft tug of his yukata had the man looking downwards and into the face of little Itachi, the small boy stating with the innocence that only a child possessed, “Papa, mama says it’s illogical to try and deny the truth.”

**_What monsters had he and Tobirama created?_ **

Pulling the innocent child into his arms, Madara settled him on his hip and turned his attention to his eldest sons, sharingan on and glowing with warning, “Seeing as how I am so old, the two of you will be tasked with cleaning this room from top to bottom.”

They tried to protest but were quick to click their mouths shut at Madara let out a sharp burst of flaring chakra, “This room will be in the pristine condition it once was before your mama returns or the two of you will not only have endure my chosen punishment but his wrath as well. Is that understood?”

Both of their heads fell in submission, Kagami muttering with loss, “Yes, papa.”

Madara chose to ignore the two as they began to clean up, reaching out to a wide eyed Shisui, “Come along, the two of you are in need of a thorough cleaning before your mama arrives. Your brothers will handle this.”

Shisui eagerly scampered over, taking Madara’s large hand with his smaller one, and the Uchiha patriarch calmly led the three of them down the hall to the bathroom.

He was swift in guiding Shisui inside as soon as he slid the door open, setting Itachi onto his own two feet, “Strip down and wait while I get the bath ready.”

By the mercy of the gods, the two little boys listened, eagerly shucking off their clothes and giggling as they took in their flour covered personages. With them distracted, Madara turned his attention to filling the tub, turning the knobs with the flick of his wrist and watching as the basin gradually grew in volume. Making sure to have soap on hand and in reach (too many past instances of young boys streaking nude around the house when he had left them unattended for just a moment flashed across his vision), Madara let out a tired sigh. _Why were children this complicated and energy draining?_

Upon the tub being filled to the required amount, Madara looked away from his task, stating calmly, “Alright, in we-.”

His eyes widened in horror when he realized that neither Itachi or Shisui were in the room, the bathroom door wide open and kami, he forgot to close the door-!

_“Papa! Shisui and Itachi are running around outside buttnaked!”_

**_Somebody just kill him now. What a mercy kill that would be!_ **

On his feet in less than a second, Madara raced through the house past his two elder boys and out onto the back engawa, halting to a stop behind the edge of the protective roofing. Running about the backyard were Itachi and Shisui, splashing about the numerous puddles marking the ground, a heavy downpour cascading from the heavens above as they covered themselves head to toe in mud. This was not happening, he was losing his mind, the paperwork finally got to him. Cheerful shrieks of pure joy shattered any hope Madara had of the scene before him being a hallucination, watching in horrified resignation as Itachi slipped and slid across the yard, Shisui quick to join him with squeals of laughter. At least it was only the two of them; all he had to do was corral them back inside, scrub them down, and-.

_“Here comes Obito!”_

A blur of blue, black, and orange sped past him, leaving Madara to feel utterly defeated as his second eldest jumped off the edge of the engawa and into a large puddle, splashing mud and dirty water everywhere. A wave of sludge smacked into the boy’s younger brothers, Shisui and Itachi screaming in delight before they moved to tackle their nii-san back into the soaked earth.

Kagami came to stand beside him, a grimace marking the boy’s youthful face, “Mama is going to kill you, isn’t he?”

There was no denying that Madara would be meeting an early death today, the elder Uchiha stating coolly, “I hope you are prepared to take on the duties as clan head, Kagami. I pray you will do me proud.”

Before the pre-teen could even think of a reply, a loud slap filled the air as a clump of mud assaulted Kagami’s face, and it was in that moment that Madara knew that he was truly and utterly done for.

Obito cackled from his place between the two younger Uchiha-Senju boys, a shit eating smirk on the eight year olds face, “Sorry Kagami, I slipped!”

With all of Madara’s hopes and dreams of having one sane child, Kagami lunged forward, tackling Obito back into the mud, “I’ll show what it means to slip you baka!”

As the four boys wrestled for dominance (though Itachi was more of a cheerleader at this point, running around as he shouted, “Fight, fight!”), Madara silently prayed that Tobirama would be having a late night at the office because invoking the Senju’s ire was a death sentence.

Running a hand over his face, the Uchiha let out a tired sigh, “There is no hope for me anymore.”

_“And why is that husband?”_

Madara went stock still at the deep voicing sounding off behind him, praying he had heard wrong, he must be hearing things right?

Slowly turning around, Madara came eye to eye with an emotionless Tobirama, the Senju gazing at him with hardened pools of wine, arms crossed over his chest.

_**He was so fucked.** _

The Uchiha gave his husband a sheepish smile, steeling himself for death, “Because I still have a mound of paperwork to finish?”

Tobirama hummed noncommittally, face passive as ever, “I see. The rain has been quite distracting today.”

“Almost as distracting as coming home to a destroyed kitchen,” Tobirama continued smoothly, sweeping away any hope and will to live that remained within Madara. “And all four of our sons covered in a horrifying mixture of flour and mud, with two of them running around the backyard naked as the day they were born.”

Chuckling nervously, Madara gave his husband a weak grin, “Boys will be boys, eh Tobi’?”

The deathly glare his husband sent his way informed Madara that not only was he going to be sleeping on the couch, Tobirama would not be letting him touch him anytime soon. That was the greatest punishment of them all. His albino husband turned his attention back to their four shouting sons and Madara did the same, quietly resigning to his fate. Silence filled the air between them as shrieks and laughter echoed across the yard and Madara couldn’t help but feel a small sprout of fondness bloom inside his chest. To see children, their children, act like children, to not be heartless shinobi, to be alive, it reminded him why he slaved away over paperwork and enjoyed raising the four little hellions they called sons.

Tobirama did not move from his spot beside Madara, voice hardening slightly, “I should have known better then to leave you with all four of them together.”

Madara let out an indignant squawk, turning on the silver haired man, “What is that supposed to mean?!”

“You clearly are unable to handle four young boys, husband mine,” Tobirama commented nonchalantly, gesturing to the muddy and chaotic scene before them. Before the Uchiha could respond, a cheerfully cry filled the air.

_“Mama!”_

Loud smacks of flesh hitting mud filled the air as Itachi hurried over with Shisui on his heels, Obito and Kagami continuing to wrestle about the mud pit they had created. The two little boys slammed into Tobirama’s legs with matching squeals, both grinning like the little fiends they were, “Mama look, we’re all muddy!”

“I can see that very well,” Tobirama dryly retorted, peering down at them with calculating eyes as he took in the now muddy state of his pants. “I can also see that both of you are naked as the day you were born. Do you wish to explain why?”

Shisui, ever their calm and well thought out child, pulled away from his mother in thought, “We were trying to make dango and Obito spilled flour everywhere cause ‘Tachi scared him so papa took us to the bathroom to take a bath and when he wasn’t looking, we ran outside because we wanted to play in the rain!”

A soft hum left the Senju as wiped a streak of mud from Itachi’s eyes, the four year old once again having been caked with some substance across his eyes, “It seems the four of you have been very busy today. I could have used such energy at the office in running messages between your uncle and I.”

Itachi let out a gasp as Tobirama skillfully removed the hardening mud for the child’s face, his eyes shining with hope, “Can we go with you tomorrow mama? Please?”

“We will have to see, the first thing that needs to be done is for you boys to bathe and for us to make dinner,” Tobirama answered calmly, pushing unruly midnight curls from Shisui’s eyes.

_“Hey! That was a cheap shot!”_

_“You’re just a sore loser otouto!”_

Madara’s attention came to land on the tussle a few yards away, Kagami and Obito grappling for purchase on one another as slipped and slid around, and before he could shout at them, Tobirama’s stern voice cut through the air, “Obito, Kagami, enough!”

Just before they came to blows, the boys turned to look to see the displeased face of their mother and Madara had some silent satisfaction in watching the blood drain from their muddied faces.

**_They were in for it now._ **

Ever the man of a controlling presence, Tobirama called out with a firm command, “Seeing as how the two of you seem to be struggling to get along with one another, you two will be gaining some extra chores that require two individuals to complete. Your first task will be cleaning the kitchen you father tidied this morning.”

Obito let out a cry of indignation, pulling away from Kagami with a face of horrified surprise, “But mama-!”

A stern glare had the eight year old’s mouth clicking shut instantly, knowing better than to argue with his silver haired man, and let his head drop in submission, “Yes, mama.”

Nodding, Tobirama gestured inside, “Go on, strip yourselves down to your undergarments and head inside and clean up.”

Kagami and Obito stumbled over to the engawa and did as they were told, their eldest asking with a sheepish smile, “How was your day mama?”

“You should know better than to try flattery and misdirection on me Kagami,” Tobirama replied nonchalantly, looking to Madara with steeled eyes. “Would you fetch towels to wipe them down? I want to keep as much mud out of the house as possible.”

Madara gave his husband a soft smirk, nodding in agreeance, “Of course.”

The Uchiha gave his albino spouse a small peck on the lips, enticing avid protests and bouts of fake retching from their four sons, and he turned on the small group with a growl, “You four are treading on thin ice! Keep on pushing it and you will surely regret it!”

All four of his boys gazed at him with unaffected glances, Shisui stating innocently, “Papa, let’s be honest, you’re not even close to intimidating. We fear mama more than you.”

Here was his six year old son, telling him, one of the strongest shinobi in existence, that he wasn’t really intimidating but his husband, their mother, was.

_**What had this damn world come to?** _

His body deflated slightly at Shisui’s comment and it only grew worse when Itachi came to hug his leg, giving him a sweet smile, “It’s okay papa, we still love you, even if you’re not as scary as mama!”

The elder boys burst out in laughter and Madara was quick to note that Tobirama was even finding this situation funny, the albino wearing a small smirk on his face. Pulling away from Itachi and heading inside, the Uchiha grumbled unhappily, “What does a man have to do to get some goddamn respect in his own damn house?”

_“Mama, what does damn mean?”_

_**Oh, he was definitely sleeping on the couch tonight.** _

He grabbed a few towels from the hall closet and swiftly made his way back out onto the engawa, throwing a towel each to the two older boys as he handed the remaining three to Tobirama, “Get yourselves cleaned up and get to work you two. I’ll deal with the lot of you later.”

Quick to do as they were told, Kagami and Obito wiped themselves down enough to be deemed acceptable enough to enter the house, their eldest son shouting as he ran inside, “First one to the bathroom gets the shower first!”

Obito took off after him, shouting with objection, “Hey, that’s not fair!”

Their bickering once again graced the air as Madara went to town on Shisui with the one of the towels he had handed to his husband, swiping away the quickly drying mud from the boy’s spry legs.

Tobirama cleaned with Itachi with his usual precision, commenting as he went, “I understand the need for sibling rivalry, but it seems they are beginning to take it quite too seriously. Both of them take far too much after you and Izuna.”

“And what is wrong with that,” Madara cried out, rubbing a splotch of mud from Shisui’s chubby cheek. “We have turned out just fine!”

His husband gave him a deadpan stare, stating with a voice of no negotiation, “You are both grown men that continue to places each other into head locks, have arguments over idiotic topics, and often get into physical alternations when you have disagreements. I essentially married a child who possesses the body of a man.”

The albino scooped their youngest into his arms as he stood and headed inside, commenting nonchalantly, “And to think we will be having another child within the next six months, gods help me.”

If Madara could be honest, he was running on six hours of sleep, had been slaving over paperwork for the majority of the day whilst dealing with four energetic boys, and he had just been through a thoroughly emotionally and mentally taxing afternoon. So when Tobirama mentioned that they were “having another child with the next six months”, it totally went over his head for the first few moments. Then, like Tobirama using his hiraishin, the reality of what his husband just said hit him and gods, no, he was just screwing with him-!

Swiftly sweeping Shisui into his arms, Madara nervously called after the Senju, “Wait, what do you mean “another child”?! Tobirama?!”

Sure enough, after seven hours of labor and threats of cutting off sensitive body parts from Tobirama, Sasuke Uchiha-Senju entered the world screaming his hairy black head off and Madara couldn’t have been any happier.


End file.
